For as much as I like to complain about having a procrastination problem, I’m actually a pretty together worker. I mean, I made it through college and law school in one go with very high grades. Made it through Marine Corps training and 5 successful years of active duty as a military attorney with responsibilities far outstripping many others in my peer group, including other entry-level attorneys (not all, but many). I transitioned to a full time civilian job at a non-profit with a bonus fellowship that is essentially a side job requiring an additional roughly 20 hours of work per month. Oh, and I’m still a reservist, which also requires at least 20 additional hours per month. So, I have just discovered, I apparently work full time 5 weeks per 4 week month.
And I get my sh*t done. I often feel like I’m not, but clearly I am. I just like to complain.
For the last week or two, though, getting things done has been more of a struggle than usual. For instance, I have three posts for the Urban Earthworm main page that are in the home stretch of being finished, but I just can’t seem to push through and get them up. My to-do list at work continues to grow with very few items getting crossed off. Renovating Flintstone’s new room is going at a snail’s pace – kind of a problem since we want to get him moved well before the baby comes.
And don’t even mention taxes to me.
I used to run a tax center, but I can’t seem to find the motivation to do our relatively simple taxes before the deadline.
So this weekend, I indulged in a fair bit of laziness. I mean straight up sitting on the couch watching House laziness. It started Saturday night when I laid in bed for 2 hours and couldn’t sleep. So I got up and made tater tots because I couldn’t fathom eating anything else without throwing up. Then I sat on the couch and watched House for two or three hours before finally being able to fall asleep. Exhaustion plus insomnia. Fun.
Sunday after church MacGyver had a conference to go to, so the kids and I made and ate lunch (salad and more tater tots). I managed to get the rest of the wallpaper out of Flintstone’s room, but didn’t even start sanding. Then I put Flintstone down for his nap. And right when I was about to get up to clean the kitchen, the cat fell asleep on my lap. So I really didn’t have a choice. It’s rude to wake someone up. More House. And it was all down hill from there. Punky and I gave each other pedicures. I watched more House. Flintstone got up and we played cards. Then I watched more House. It wasn’t until MacGyver got home and I had to admit how I spent my day that I actually did anything.
Note: MacGyver was totally cool with how I spent my afternoon. But I was not, and saying it out loud to him brought on my plentiful over-achiever guilt. So I went running, and by the time I got home my excellent husband and children had dinner ready. And then we tucked them in, and guess what I did?
Nope. No more House. All that doing nothing was apparently exhausting. I passed the heck out – but I passed out determined to do better when I got up (today, Monday). And this morning the lists were running through my head. One email for every single orange folder. Update spreadsheets. Complete certain documents for the Marine Corps. Prepare for major meeting tomorrow. Finish one of the pending blog posts. And that was just the beginning.
And I sat down at my desk and didn’t even notice the rhythmic pounding. Years of parenting and Marine-ing have enabled me to concentrate in the midst of much noise and chaos. Every few minutes someone would wander into my office to look out the window at this:
This is the view from my desk of the huge crane operated jackhammer that is taking out the sidewalk and road outside my office window. The jackhammer itself is literally only about 4 feet from me. For at least two hours, it didn’t bother me in the least. Then, I suspect there may have been a bit of a mood swing.
The pounding, which is so loud many of my coworkers (who are not sitting right next to the jackhammer) have left. It is shaking things off of shelves and rattling my windows in a very disturbing manner. It has not let up since 8am. I have a headache. I am not happy.
And I am pretty sure the jackhammer has aggravated my morning sickness. And I dare anyone to say otherwise.
I finally got fed up and went to Whole Foods to get lunch, but mostly just to get away from the pounding. I couldn’t even tolerate the thought of food, but it was better than this never ending noise. I finally settled on some mushroom matar and aloo matar and some mixed vegetables. But I also bought an overpriced berry juice with B12 (in hopes of maybe lifting my now quite dark mood), a box of vegan fair trade chocolate chip cookies, a vegan caramel tort, and a vegan strawberry cheesecake (for MacGyver)(maybe…). I’m not even in the mood for sweets! I just shouldn’t be allowed to go grocery shopping while pregnant and cranky.
I came back, ate my food, and felt a little better.
For about 4 minutes.
I have no idea why I am still sitting here. I have sent two emails today. In 7 hours of work. In other words, I haven’t done jacksh*t.
Also, the vast majority of the time (with notable exceptions when I’m drinking – NOT while pregnant) I don’t swear. Today, apparently, is an exception.
And still, I am sitting at my desk. Because this post is the first thing I’ve come close to “accomplishing” today. Even though it isn’t a substantive post in the remotest sense of the word. Nor does it have anything to do with any of my jobs. And also because I don’t want to pick Flintstone up from his new school early if I don’t have to. It is such a wonderful place for him and he is learning so much! Go Quaker schools!
Hormones and mood swings barely affected me when I was pregnant with Flintstone. This time around, I feel like I could give Linda Blair a run for her money. I’m lucky to have such a wonderful and supportive family, and they’re damn lucky I’ve got years of practice denying and hiding my emotions, ha.
How many of these do you think I’ll have to eat to hold in the screamed obscenities?
I am seriously thinking my boss needs to provide me with some earplugs. I miss the days when I used to actually carry earplugs in the pocket of my uniform. My pretty skirt today is not nearly as useful as cammies.
Yes, I am absolutely certain the jackhammer is making me nauseous. I think it’s time to
retreat attack in a different direction.